Did this post need to be public? No, as it was between myself and another party. But to some extent, I screwed up and it's not something I'm intending to hide.
Over the weekend, I lost a friend. Here's a summary of events:
- Earlier in the week, the other party got into conflict with a mutual acquaintance on Twitter.
- The other party posted a blog entry on the subject a few days later.
- I commented on the blog post.
- A conversation took place on Facebook and when it was evident that the other party could not see my point, I informed them that I would be posting a rebuttal on my blog.
- The other party asks that I don't post my rebuttal.
- I decline.
- The other party states that they will delete their post.
- I agree with them and state that if they will delete their post, I will not post my rebuttal.
- The other party accuses me of bullying.
- I tell the other party that they should retain their post and that I would post my rebuttal.
- The other party deletes it anyway.
I should have backed off when they offered to delete their blog entry. Maybe I should have just posted my rebuttal instead of informing them ahead of time. I shouldn't have encouraged the deletion, even when I later told them repeatedly to retain the post.
The other party considered this tactic bullying. It didn't seem so at the time to me but maybe it was bullying. I did use the statement "If it [the blog entry] stays up, I'll post my rebuttal," which comes off as threatening.
The fact that I found the blog entry to be reprehensible (because the narrative was a one-sided account of what happened and the other party was basically congratulating themselves while demonizing others involved) was besides the point. The situation could have been resolved better.