The Sword of Truth

I wasn't always a nice person (assuming the present me could be called nice). As a child, I was a horrible, horrible person. I was the classmate who bullied you through words and insults. I didn't care about your feelings, just mine. Oh, and I was very, very arrogant. Occassionally, this side of me would pop out from time to time (I don't consider it as malicious as I would call it mischievious). However, there were two instances that caused me to change. One is I saw my grade school best friend in a clearer light: he was much like me, arrogant, selfish, and self-centered. If I intimidated by words, he intimidated by force. Then one day, I simply realized it as he was hurting (emotionally) my other friends. The other incident, however, is closer to heart, most probably because it's a result of inner enlightenment. I was reading Terry Brook's Heritage of Shanarra series and what fascinated me was the Sword of Shanarra, which forced the wielder to face the painful truths in his or her life. The Sword of Shanarra, simply put, is a "sword of truth" (not to be confused with Terry Goodkind's series of the same name, and in which the sword doesn't really reveal any truths except in the first book), and it didn't need to exist in the real world to be effective. Self-discernment, after all, is something everyone is capable of, if only we have take the effort to do so, and not shirk away from what we might see.

Suffice to say, I was a very horrible person, and the only way I got better was by facing the truth, and worked my way from there. Which is perhaps why the virtue I champion is truth. Of course I have no illusions about the limitations of truth. Truth will not end all wars, merely explain the reasons behind them. Knowledge of the truth will change nothing, unless it is backed up by action. Telling the truth can also hurt people's feelings, for it can be as painful as it is liberating. Nonetheless, I don't think anyone will dispute the value truth has.

Of course I while not claim I have never lied. While it is easier for me than most people to perceive truth, acting upon it is another matter. But I have little illusions in life, at least ones that I conjure up. For example, when I meet a person, I do not lie to myself what my motivations are. I might approach someone because I find them cute, interesting, or because of their influence or fame. I do not lie to myself.

Which brings me to two kinds of people I dislike the most: those who lie outrightly, and those who deceive themselves. The latter, perhaps, can gain more of people's sympathy. These are, after all, people who are unable to comprehend the truth, or at least consciously choose not to accept it. Over the years, there are people who do not simply dislike me, but loathe me and refuse to communicate with me at all. Strangely enough, these are people who delude themselves, who do not want to see truth. I am not saying I am in the right or that they are in the wrong, but the tendency of these people is to stick to their initial beliefs, and never shift away from it. I try to engage in dialogue with them, or even ask an apology even when I know malice wasn't my intention in the first place, but it all collapses because the other side refuses to hear me out. It's a conflict that results from a disagreement or misunderstanding, but because they are so wrapped up in what they believe is true, they do not see the whole picture, and what could have easily been mended is torn asunder. Again, they are less culpable than deceivers. You can call it a defense mechanism, or succumbing to fear, but these types of people are hypocrites not because they intend to be, but because they simply have not taken the time or the risk to look at the truth. To a certain extreme, it could be said Hitler was like this. He thought that what he was doing was for the greater good, and that his truth was the only one in the world. It never occurred to him that he might be wrong, or that there are other answers in this world. He refused to engage in dialogue with those he fought against. These types of people aren't really bothered by their conscience because they are unaware of their self-deception in the first place. The lies they tell themselves is what consoles them. And sadly, this is how I started, until I faced the painful truths in my life.

The other type I dislike is more insidious. Sometimes, they may even appear to be deluding themselves, but make no mistake, they are very aware of the truth, and manipulate it to suit their desires. Normally, this is what we would refer to robber, to con-artists, to frauds. In real life though, we do know people who are like this. They lie when it suits them. There are several motivations for this. It could be to gain sympathy from friends or strangers. They could also lie to put themselves in a better light or in a better bargaining position. Deceit can also be used not necessarily to glorify yourself, but to debase someone else. Of course strangely enough, these tactics and motivations are also used by those who are delusional. Perhaps that's the problem with deceit: one can get too wrapped up in it that the truth eludes us more than ever.

Truth will not resolve all conflicts, but it is a platform for meaningful discussion and dialogue. Can you imagine having a sincere talk with someone you care about, and not be telling the truth? Contracts, marriages, and agreements are based on mutual trust, if not out of love. Truth is not the be-all and end-all of virtues, but it is a foundation from which other virtues can stem from.